09.07.2025

Dear diary, 
I feel today that life is so inconsistent. 
How somedays feels so happy and 
somedays so sad and somedays so unknown.
We feel everything too much and then nothing at all. 

I had such a lovely date with him. 
I had so much to feel. 
And then I felt devasted about myself. 
About everything in me. 
I wasn't liking myself at all. 
But he, he kept trying to convince me 
That it wasn't like that. 
Being an introvert, it takes a lot to talk, 
And the way he talks to me, 
The way he makes me believe things is so insane. 
I love him too much( more than I love myself) 
Because these days I don't feel i like myself. Idk why? 
I wasn't convinced by anything. 
Even when we kissed, I didn't feel any change in my emotions. I wasn't feeling good. 
And the moment he asked me to hug him. 🫂
That rush in my blood went calm. 
I won't lie, it wasn't magic and everything was fine in a blink, but, 
It did work. It somehow did work. And I was relieved and calm and quiet inside.💜
I suddenly remembered that this was the calm I needed, this was the quietness I used to get when I meditated.✨😌😇
Thank you for that. 💕
Also, The way you said, that, 'The hardest part for you in our date is when you drop me home and go home alone', damnnnnn who💎 says that ab. 🙈🙈🙈🙈 I felt so blushy blushy na uss waqt. 🤭🤭🙈🙈

I don't say much about it, infact, I also ask you not to do it, but,🫣 I love it when you wait for me after work. When you drop me home every day after work, it makes me feel so special, so important, as if I matter. 🥹
Thank you so much for being the way you are. With you, I feel I'm enough. 🩵
Thank you for everything my love. 🩷

Yours and only yours, 
Biryani Monster😈

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